I fully intended to be further into my end-of-decade series by now. In fact, these lists were to be the very foundation of The Average Bear. My rationale was simple: such rankings were still fairly topical even in early-to-mid April, and – more importantly – they would create a structured format to keep me interested (and thus, keep me posting).
It’s almost mid-May. Suddenly, these lists seem less topical by the minute – and I’m updating this blog sporadically. Adjustments must be made.
So here’s what is going to happen: in between lists (which I will renew my vigor for, and expand the scope of), I’m going to name a few individual winners – ones that wouldn’t necessarily necessitate (purposeful alliteration) a top ten.
Biggest Disappointment of the 2000s: Rivers Cuomo
The tale of Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo goes a little something like this:
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1994: Hits it big with the self-titled, Weezer, complete with mega-hits “Buddy Holly,” “Undone – The Sweater Song” and “Say it Ain’t So.”
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1996: Follows-up with the soul-bearing and incredibly personal Pinkerton. It is met with indifference critically and commercially.
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1997-ish: Cuomo retreats.
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2001: Cuomo re-emerges to make terrible, impersonal music throughout the decade.
Maybe “terrible” is a bit much. However, the five albums released from 2000-2009 do lack the lyrical depth of Pinkerton. Cuomo, scarred by the reaction to his purgation, retreated as an artist – creating shallow, cookie cutter power pop records. And that would be fine had he not shown his potential (and brilliance) with Pinkerton.
For comparison’s sake, let’s pull out two sets of lyrics. The first is from Pinkerton’s “Across the Sea” – reportedly based on letters Cuomo received from a Japanese fan, as well as his subsequent obsession and anguish.
They don’t make stationery like this where I’m from – so fragile, so refined
So I sniff
and I lick
Your envelope and fall to little pieces every time
I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea
And from 2005’s Make Believe, “We Are All On Drugs:”
When your out with your friends
In your new Mercedes Benz and you’re
On drugs
And you show up late for school cause
You think your really cool when you’re
On drugs
And you put on your headphones
And you step into the zone when you’re
On drugs
But the world don’t care
If you are or are not there
Cause you’re on drugs
Give it to me
We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (Never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (Wooooh)
And you twitch in your seat cause
You wanna hit the street when you’re
On drugs
And you cause such a fuss cause
There’s no one you can trust when you’re
On drugs
And the best of your days
Will all vanish into haze when you’re
On drugs
And you wish you could quit cause
You’re really sick of it but you’re
On drugs
Give it to me
We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (Never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (Wooooh)
I want to confiscate your drugs
I don’t think I can get enough (Uh)
He’s become detached from his songs, relying more on Baby’s First Rhyming Dictionary (or so it seems) than his own feelings and emotions. They’re hollow, bordering on Ringo Starr-level lyricism (certainly not that of a Harvard grad, which Cuomo is) especially when standing in the shadow of Weezer’s previous work.
Upon their return in 2001, Weezer was heralded as the would-be savior of rock. I’m still waiting. I know the talent is still there, but it appears Cuomo won’t let the public rejection go – and in doing so, continues to let a lot of fans down. That’s why he is the decade’s biggest disappointment.
He could have been great.
Posted in Best of..., Music, Worst of...
Tags: Best of..., Music, rivers cuomo, weezer, Worst of...
